Say Yes to the Dress

After 27 years of being me, I'm aware that I'm not your typical girl. I'm a die-hard Lord of the Rings fan, I have a penchant for RPG video games and my Kindle collection consists of mostly Fantasy and Young Adult Fiction. I organize my closet by color and sleeve length, drink my Red Bulls and hot Starbucks through a straw and can't help but put a theme (and a costume) to every event. It was really no surprise to me then, when I realized that I am also not your typical bride. I want my bridesmaids to look hot (okay, by hot I mean a little slutty...no knee length baby shower dresses!), my groom has chosen our themed, very masculine wedding cake (which I happen to love) and I could care less about flowers. But, the most surprising thing to me was having absolutely no desire to try on wedding dresses.

It's been my experience that most girls (both real and the ones in romantic comedies) have barely uttered the word, "yes", before they're off to the bridal boutique to try on wedding dresses. After months of watching "Say Yes to the Dress", I was fully prepared to be one of them, but when we got engaged in June we decided to relax and enjoy each other and with all of the post-engagement celebrations going on, dresses never crossed my mind. In July we decided on a month and general location and around that time a good friend of mine asked me if I had looked at wedding dresses yet. Although I had flipped through a couple of bridal magazines and bookmarked a couple of dresses on my computer, I really hadn't given my dress much thought. I decided that we needed to pick a venue before I could start looking at dresses, so I threw myself head-first into venue research. In August we set off for Tahoe, and after a wonderful weekend with my dad and his fiance, we booked our venue. The night we got home, I sat down in my favorite chair with my bridal magazines and my laptop and waited for the wedding dress inspiration to appear...an hour later I gave up and started looking at bakeries.

August came and with it, more inquiries from friends and family about my dress (and the strange looks they gave me when I told them I hadn't looked yet). In September, I grudgingly made an appointment at the bridal boutique (mostly because my bridal check list had "try on wedding dresses" highlighted in red, aka DO IT NOW). I've always thought that spending money on a dress that i would wear once was ridiculous and was not looking forward to picking one, but as a last ditch effort to get myself into the wedding dress state of mind, my future Mother-in-Law and one of my bridesmaids accompanied me to a bridal fair. Finally, while watching the bridal fashion show and sharing a pitcher of sangria with the girls, my inner (slightly buzzed) bride started thinking about wedding dresses. When I got home that night, I sat down in my favorite chair (again) with my bridal magazines and my laptop and the inspiration appeared.

The day of the appointment arrived in mid-October and I headed to the bridal boutique with my mom, sisters, MOH and future MIL in tow. I had spent the week before preparing myself for the wedding dress experience. I had tanned and made sure I had cute underwear and the right strapless bra. I knew what I wanted and didn't want and in order to take any pressure off of myself, I had mentally decided that I didn't expect myself to have a "Say Yes to the Dress" moment. After all, I'm not your typical bride. I felt cool, calm, collected and a little buzzed from the mimosa I had earlier that morning (this whole buzzed thing seems to be a pattern! ;)) Then I stepped through the doors...

All at once, the panic set in. The room started moving in waves of  white and Swarovski sparkle. The lights dotting the ceiling were too bright and too hot. The overly-sweet smell of the cupcakes sitting by the entrance made me sick to my stomach (seriously, what bride wants to eat cupcakes before they try on dresses!) and the "oohing" and "aahing" coming from the back room made my ears hurt. But it was the line of consultants with their name tags and their shiny hair and perfect smiles, beckoning me towards them that gave me the sudden urge to flee. Overwhelmed, I turned around and looked at my mom with what I can only imagine were wild eyes and said, "I don't want to do this". Instead of responding, she did as all good moms would. She ignored my panicked plea, put her hand on the small of my back and gently pushed me forward.

My consultant lead us back to our area. There were chairs and end tables with fake bridal bouquets and boxes of tissues (which, of course, I wouldn't need because I'm not your typical bride). There were mirrors everywhere and a pedestal in the middle of it all (no wonder brides turn into Bridezillas...they start their tenure as brides by literally putting themselves on a pedestal. Heehee!) After giving my consultant an idea of what I wanted and didn't want, she whisked me away to the dressing room to undress and wait for the dresses. (As I stood there half naked, I thought, "thank goodness for the tanning and careful underwear selection!")

She brought in an armful of dresses, all along the lines of what I wanted. I slipped into the first one (which, believe it or not is NOT an easy OR graceful task). It was beautiful and everything I wanted, but I didn't know how to feel about it. I had never tried on a wedding dress and had nothing to compare it to, so it was back to the dressing room for more dresses. The parade continued (A-Lines do nothing for me and the mermaid silhouette looked awful!) until it was down to two dresses - dress #1 and dress #6. They were both beautiful and they were both what I was looking for, but not even adding a veil and a fake bouquet could help me decide between the two.

Exhausted and overwhelmed I headed back to the dressing room and asked my consultant, "How do I choose? I love them both!" She told me that most brides are so focused on finding a dress that they use their eyes and their bodies and their onlooking entourage to make a decision, but they rarely use their hearts. Her advice to me was to go back out on my pedestal and instead of gazing into the mirrors and seeing myself in a bridal boutique, I should gaze into the mirrors and imagine myself at the top of the aisle on my wedding day. I silently giggled inside at the corniness of her advice, but headed back out to the pedestal in dress #6, anyway.

I gazed. I gazed harder. Nothing. All I saw were chairs and end tables with fake bridal bouquets and boxes of tissues (that I would not need, because I'm not your typical bride). Just as I was about to give up, my consultant brought out dress #1 and held it up next to me. All of the sudden, the bridal boutique melted away and I was at Sunnyside on September 15th, 2012. I could smell the clean air and hear the lake lapping against the dock, but most clearly I could see myself and I was wearing dress #1. Before I knew it, I felt a lump in my throat and my eyes started to burn. I looked down to try to compose myself, but it was too late. By the time I looked back up, everyone (including myself) was crying and the boxes of tissues that I would never need were being passed around. They say when you know, you know and I knew! I changed back into dress #1 (and yes, the consultant asked me if I was saying yes to the dress!)

I won't go into detail, because I'm sure my groom is reading this post, but my dress is perfect. When I'm wearing it, I feel like it was made to be worn by only me and I feel magical. Although my wedding dress experience ended up being more typical than I originally thought (I picked the first dress I tried on, I cried and I actually said "yes to the dress" out loud) I still found a way for my a-typical, Lord of the Rings-loving, straw-drinking, YA fiction-reading self to come through (I mean, really, who actually cries while they're wearing the WRONG dress!)

Until my next happily ever after...
<3 Nicole

It's Been Awhile...

It's been awhile...okay, it's been a LONG while...five months to be exact. (I swear, in wedding planning time, five months feels like a week!) I'm sorry for neglecting you, but if it makes you feel any better, I've pretty much been neglecting every other aspect of my life, as well.

People always tell you that wedding planning is a lot of work, but I never quite understood just how all-consuming it could be. We've been engaged for almost exactly six months (can you believe it!?) and have gotten the majority of the big things done (checking things off of a list has never been so satisfying!) Over the past five months, my evenings have been spent working on our gust list, sending our Save the Dates, perfecting our wedding website, browsing Bridesmaids dresses, researching and Yelping vendors, setting up appointments, filling out paperwork and signing contracts. Our weekends have been spent (driving) meeting with vendors, (driving) discussing flowers, (driving) browsing wedding photos and  (driving) tasting cakes and whenever Jason was in the driver seat doing all of this driving, I was usually next to him in the passenger seat firing off emails on my phone to confirm whatever appointment we were headed to next.

While all of those things were entirely expected, what I found to be entirely unexpected was the amount of space this wedding has taken up in my brain. I've always been a, "have my shit together", "on top of things" kind of girl. The apartment was always spotless, the laundry was always done and I was always prepared for things WAY ahead of schedule. Then I got engaged. Suddenly there are more things in my head than there is room for and they're all flying around a million miles a minute. Centerpiece ideas are crashing into linen and deck umbrella rentals, dress fitting dates are getting tangled up with visions of escort cards and table numbers and the poor honeymoon is suffocating somewhere under fuchsia flowers of every shape and size. Thank goodness there's a cocktail hour menu zipping around in there somewhere to keep them all sane! Amidst all of this chaos in my brain, the basic things have started to fall out. The apartment always seems to be a mess, there is always dirty laundry in the basket, and if it weren't for the obnoxious rumbling in my tummy every couple of hours, I might even forget to eat!

Luckily I have an amazing fiance. Not only has he been a willing and supportive participant in every step of the planning process, he has kept me sane. He doesn't care that it may be two weeks before the bathroom mirror is cleaned or the entertainment center is dusted. When there's dirty laundry in the basket, he does it and when the cupboards are bare and my stomach is empty, he makes sure to fill them both up. 

Regardless of all of the wedding planning craziness, I can honestly say that I have never been happier. At the end of the day, no matter what wedding planning chaos went on, I get to lay down next to my future husband and although I spend all of my waking hours planning the wedding of my dreams, my dreams are actually full of him and the life we're so looking forward to starting together!

I promise to update you on all things wedding in the next couple of weeks, so stay tuned!

Until my next happily ever after...
<3 Nicole

The Ring Part 2

For the first couple of days, having a ring on my finger felt strange. I spent a lot of time staring down at my hand - in the kitchen, in the bathroom, outside in the sun, outside in the shade, while driving, in the mirror, under streetlights, while I was wearing blue, with hot pink nails, with no nail polish at all. After MUCH deliberation I decided that it sparkles the best in Jason's mom's kitchen, our bathroom and in the sunlight. Now, I'm aware that that sounds slightly strange, but the obsessive behavior didn't stop there. I quickly realized that I was afraid to do anything with my left hand. When I took Trouble for a walk, I held the leash in my right hand and when I drove, I gripped the steering wheel with my right hand. I took off my ring several times a day to wash my hands, just to make sure the ring wouldn't get dirty and wouldn't put lotion on afterwards. Luckily, as the days went on I got a little less OCD and a little more more comfortable with it and realized that driving and walking the dog weren't going to do any serious damage.

Along with my new level of comfort came smudges and dust and I became convinced that my ring no longer sparkled the way it did when Jason first slid it on my finger. And so began my quest for the perfect way to clean it. I did research on the internet and found a few different at-home remedies. After trying to clean it with a microfiber cloth, spritzing it with a pressurized air duster to dislodge dust (my coworker walked by mid-blast and looked at me like I was crazy), cleaning it with warm, soapy water and soaking it in watered down Windex I gave up and purchased an actual diamond and precious metal jewelry cleaner. After a 30 second dip in the little jar and few swipes of the magic little brush, my ring looks like it did 3 weeks ago. Enter my new obsession - cleaning my ring!

As odd as it felt in the beginning, my finger feels naked without it now, which brings me to my next challenge...dropping it off at the jewelers for a couple of days to have it re-sized. It seems that in these few short paragraphs I've already managed to share more than enough of my strange and embarrassing habits and obsessions with you so we'll save my upcoming separation anxiety with my ring for another post. :)

Until my next Happily Ever After...<3

The Ring

Those of you who know Jason know that he never makes a decision without doing his research first. Whether he's deciding which is the best flat screen on the market, comparing the ingredients in different dog treats or calculating the perfect combination of water, sunlight and fertilizer for the plants in our garden, he doesn't make a move until he feels confident that he's gathered all of the information necessary to make the most informed decision possible.

After being aware of (and benefiting from) this habit for so many years, it came as no surprise to me that when he proposed, not only did he give me the most dazzling diamond I've ever seen, but he also gave me a long lesson on the "4 C's" of diamonds - cut, clarity, color and carat. I won't go into details (I'm sure if you really want to know Jason would be more than happy to share his 4 C's knowledge with you), but lets just say that the diamond is nearly perfect. At first I was hesitant to post pictures because I knew they wouldn't do the ring justice, but thanks to my beloved Canon Rebel (another well-researched-by-Jason purchase), they turned out better than expected. They still don't show the beauty and sparkle of the ring, but I love it too much not to share!

The Proposal

When you've been together as long as we have, the element of surprise is hard to come by. Although I've always known that Jason was the man I was going to marry, it wasn't until the past year that I really started to think about a ring and a proposal as a near reality instead of just something that would happen down the road. The past 6 months, especially, have been extremely nerve wracking. Every trip to Tahoe or dinner out seemed to have the potential for a proposal lurking behind it. I even thought I might find a ring in the potting soil when we planted our garden together in May. The trips and dinners came and went, along with our anniversary and my birthday, but still no proposal.

Fast forward to Wednesday, June 15th. I hadn't been feeling well all week, so despite the gorgeous 80 degree weather outside I was relaxing on the couch after work. Jason walked in the door and asked if I felt well enough to take Trouble for a hike in the Santa Teresa Hills before dinner. After deciding that a little fresh air might be good for me, I agreed. We got our hiking clothes on, grabbed some water and headed out the door.  In true Jason fashion, a short hike turned into a long hike full of "lets just go a little further" and "I just want to see whats on the other side of that hill". Just as the sun was starting to set we got to the top of the highest hill. The view was breathtaking, the breeze was refreshing and the sunset was gorgeous. We soaked it all in for a couple of minutes, but decided we had better give Trouble some water and then head back before it got dark. As I was pouring the water in his bowl, Jason turned his back to me and started fiddling in his backpack. After a couple of minutes of fiddling, telling me he needed to make sure his keys didn't fall out of the bottom of his backpack and offering me his jacket when I was obviously sweaty after an hour long, warm weather hike, I suddenly realized that the only thing that could make him act THAT nervous was a proposal. I started to get nervous myself and, not knowing what else to do, turned around to see what Trouble was up to. I finally heard the fiddling stop and when I turned back around, Jason was on one knee (broken back and all), with the ring box in his hand and a, "Will you marry me", coming from his mouth.

Over the past nine years I've had so much time to imagine what our proposal would be like and now that it has actually happened, I can't imagine it happening any other way. I never would have expected the happiest day of my life to fall on a Tuesday, but it did and it was perfect and it was "us". After all these years Jason still managed to create the element of surprise and I can't wait to see what surprises await us in the many more years to come!